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Avoiding the Jitters and the Bathroom: How I Drink my Morning Coffee

Avoiding the Jitters and the Bathroom: How I Drink my Morning Coffee


Ok. Real talk here, I'm just going to say the thing that everyone knows because dammit, I'm an adult.  Coffee makes you poop.  There I said it.  If you're totally grossed out, and hating me right now, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry.  It's just a fact of life...or so I thought.

Here's the real skinny, it doesn't make everyone run to the bathroom, just some people, and I  never knew that wasn't "normal"!  Stay with me here.  Only 29% of coffee drinkers feel the need to "run to the bathroom" after they have their morning cup of joe, and more than half of those are women!  Crazy right?  Now, there is another small percentage of people that, even though they don't have an urgent need to use the restroom following their cuppa, they do claim that regular coffee intake helps keep them regular.  

So. Interesting.  

Even more interesting is the fact that coffee affects people differently, in part, simply due to your genetics.   AND, you're likely to be MORE sensitive to it's effects on your digestive system if you have a history of something like IBS (hello, hand raised here on all accounts)  Woman? Check. Genetic predisposition? Check. IBS History?  Check.

A normal person who wasn't addicted might take a look at all of these variables and think, "well, coffee just isn't for me."  NOT ME.  NOT NOW. NOT EVER.  As far as I'm concerned, that's blasphemy to even consider in these parts.  I know, I know...the fact that I have such a strong visceral reaction to the thought of giving up my beloved coffee is probably a sign of deeper underlying issues, but I'm just not to step one yet, admitting there's a problem..not going to do it.  

Not only is the whole "digestive upset" a thing, but I have to admit, usually around 10:30 am each morning after my coffee, I would feel AWFUL.  Shaky, jittery, HANGRY....just all around weird AF.  Headaches were present on occasion.  In general, I felt like my blood sugar (regardless of what I had eaten for breakfast that morning), was way off, and crashing by that point.

So I did what any coffee addict would do, and I dug in deep to try and figure out how to have my coffee and drink it too.  Lo and behold, here's what I found.

1) Cold Brew:  So what I found is that cold brew, for me, went way smoother on the digestive system AND I only have to drink one cup in the morning to feel energized.  There are a couple of reasons for this.  Number one, cold brew is 60% less acidic than regular hot brewed coffee.  Less acid, means less harsh on your stomach! It's also more concentrated than a hot brewed cup of coffee and much more smooth in flavor profile.  With my regular hot coffee, I would feel burpy and reflux-y, AND I would often times feel like I'd need 2 cups in the morning to feel the effects.  Now that I've switched to cold brew, I only need one cup to get going, and my stomach thanks me!  (My favorite brand is Chameleon Cold Brew of course--they have ready made and brew your own at home options!)

2) I focused on balancing my coffee with ingredients that promoted blood sugar stability, much like the general principles of The Zone Diet.  Based on zone thinking, you want to consume macros in a 30% fat 30% protein 40% carbohydrate ratio for the best regulation of hormone/insulin response.  Keeping this hormone response in check is key to keeping blood sugar least according to Dr. Sears.  So I figured, what the hay, let's give it a shot!

So here's the recipe I came up with, complete with a general macro breakdown so you can see how it all works out.  I have to say, since I've been doing this for a few weeks now, I've noticed a HUGE difference.  Not only in frequency of urgent bathroom trips, but I feel calmer, less crazy, less anxious, and overall more stable in the mornings!  Plus, the collagen in my coffee not only makes a wicked good foam, but I adore that I'm getting some extra love for my skin, hair, nails, connective tissue, and gut with this simple addition.

Jess' Anti-Bathroom Cold Brew Coffee:

8 oz. Cold Brew Coffee

5 tbsps. coconut milk 

2 tbsps. collagen peptides (I use this brand)

1 tbsp maple syrup

1.  Add all ingredients to blender and blend until frothy.  Pour into cup over ice and enjoy!

Loose Macro Breakdown:

FAT: 11 grams, 28% 

PROTEIN: 12 grams, 31%

CARBS: 15 grams, 39% 

So there it is folks, my secret coffee concoction!  The cure to your bathroom and jitter woes!  And if you really want to up the blood sugar regulation factor, go the extra mile by sprinking some organic cinnamon all over top of it.  Cinnamon is a known blood sugar regulator, and plus it smells and tastes DIVINE.

Try it out, let me know what you think!  Comment below with any other tips and tricks you have found that enhances your morning coffee experience.  I'd love to hear more ways to jazz it up!